Flower Conroy
Dead Girl Study: Alyssa Mae Noceda; Lynnwood, Washington, February 8, 2018
Streak of light slashing
the filter veiling
her perfectly dis-
enchanted expression—there’s no doubt
she’s aware
she’s a beauty
behind the wheel
of a car, fingers pointing/
resting on her right temple; strong-
but-not-too-strong
arched eyebrows; thick-lashed Bambi stare,
the pout pinked
just enough, so barely
parted, a sigh
mightn’t even escape
their lushness—this image isn’t her
mourning portrait.
But because under the headline
“New Details About The Teen Who Sent
Photos Of A Dying Girl To His Friends
Before Sexually Assaulting Her As She
Passed Away,” this image is squared,
Alyssa Mae Noceda
now fixates doubly into infinity, as in
a manipulation
of the gazed upon
& the one gazing.
Rape & homicide.
The article does
not share the shots
Brian Varela took of her
dying. Which he. Sent to friends.
With a message
shrugging off her. Overdose.
To pass.
The time.
In that condition he. Fucked her.
Didn’t call
for help
because he. Was “Too tired.”
Went to work at Dairy
Queen. But planned
to bury her.
When he. Got.
Home. Unlocked
her phone
with her thumb
once he. Realized
she’d died so that he. Might
Snapchat a message from
her
suggesting she was running away
then ditched her
phone in the woods.
The article does, however, include a picture
of Varela sandwiched between the paragraphs detailing his.
Account.
He. Is taking
a Selfie.
A flash emanates
from the device in his. Hand.
Laundry accumulates on the washer
or dryer
behind him. A nightgown
or shirt hangs from a hook over a door.
He. Is wearing a black jacket
over a black shirt. As he. Is
peering
into his. Phone, surveying
his. Look, his.
Eyes are downcast, the right
more shadowed than the left.
Noceda’s mother indicating
on Facebook
her daughter was missing.
Varela appearing
to be smirking
during his. Hearing.
Legs
broken
to fit.
Noceda’s body found
crammed into a plastic
crate inside Varela’s mobile home.
Mixture of
pain-
killers
& THC in
concentrated
liquid form.
Noceda last seen alive
after 9 pm Saturday night.
Noceda dead by Sunday morning.
“LOL I think she
od’d, still breathing.
I’m smashing
her to pass
the time,” was
what he. Texted
along with a pic
of her by then
swollen, blue lips.
Dead Girl Study: Lizette Cuesta; Dublin, California, February 13, 2018
Found road-
Side, stabbed
& covered
In blood.
Had crawled
On her
Stomach about
100 yards
From where
The yellow
Rope (that
Had bound
Her during
The sexual
Encounter) was
Discovered abandoned.
She had
Elbowed him.
He “snapped.”
Said after:
“I didn’t
Plan to
Do this
At all.”
His fiancée,
Melissa Leonardo,
Driving the
Car while
He and
Lizette Cuesta
Had sex
In the
Backseat; they’d
All smoked
Some marijuana
That night.
She had
Agreed to
Be tied
Up. Were
Friends. Lizette
Worked with
Him at
A fast
Food restaurant.
In cold
Weather, dumped.
Spotted by
People driving.
He reacted
In self-
Defense but
Wouldn’t elaborate.
Multiple stabs.
“You’ll get
What you
Deserve,” her
Family shouting
In court
Before being
Ejected from
The hearing.
Lizette’s father
Ray saying,
“everybody knows
How tough
She was.”
Because, before
Succumbing, she
Was able
To name
Her attackers.
Because, before
Succumbing, she
Was able
To name
Her attackers.
Lizette’s father
Ray saying,
“everybody knows
How tough
She was.”
“You’ll get
What you
Deserve,” her
Family shouting
In court
Before being
Ejected from
The hearing.
Multiple stabs.
He reacted
In self-
Defense but
Wouldn’t elaborate.
In cold
Weather, dumped.
Spotted by
People driving.
Lizette worked
With him
At a
Fast food
Restaurant. Were
Friends. She
Had agreed
To be
Tied up.
His fiancée,
Melissa Leonardo,
Driving the
Car while
He and
Lizette Cuesta
Had sex
In the
Backseat; they’d
All smoked
Some marijuana
That night.
Said after:
“I didn’t
Plan to
Do this
At all.”
He “snapped.”
She had
Elbowed him.
Had crawled
On her
Stomach about
100 yards
From where
The yellow
Rope (that
Had bound
Her during
The sexual
Encounter) was
Discovered abandoned.
Found road-
Side, stabbed
& covered
In blood.
Dead Girl Study: Natalie Bollinger; Adams County, Colorado, February 7, 2018
(poem borrows language from the article written by Kelly Weill)
I want to put a hit on myself, Natalie
Bollinger, 19 allegedly wrote (in the “women seeking
men” section of Craigslist, Broom-
field, Colorado). After Natalie’s boyfriend reported her—
and his Glock pistol—missing, her body
was found, downward-
angled, gun wound
to the back of the head, in a wooded area
of a dairy farm, her bloodstream saturated with heroin.
He drove
across country to see me… slept behind
my work for weeks, she posted just fourteen days
before her death, of a 42 year old man
she’d accused of stalking her. He’s sent emails for over a year
close everyday, harassing me. Making numerous account
until I block him again. Threatening
my family, telling me
he’ll kill
himself in front of me,
Bollinger documented (but police ruled him out leaving
the teen’s loved ones to wonder
who wanted her
dead). Posing
as a hit man,
Joseph Lopez answered. (Posing
as a hit man, Joseph Lopez answered. Posing
as a hit man, Joseph Lopez answered posing
as a hit man Joseph Lopez answered Joseph Lopez answered
answered. Answered.
Answered.
Answered.
Answered.
Answered.)
Lopez, 22, said he replied to the ad, using a hit man persona.
He answered
her he said they prayed before
he shot her he picked her up from her apartment
tried to talk her out of
the plan (labret septum
piercings) backtracked
(ying-yang Mandala tattoo on her right forearm)
they drove around looking
for a suitable—he
backed out—dropped her home in the remote
woods 111 messages between him
and Bollinger on December 28 the suspect-
ed day—he said
(in affidavit
when stopped
on his way to work at Domino’s Pizza even before
questioning told police) he was sure
their being there
had to do with the girl
on Craigslist it
was her
request she would pay
him she
shot herself
said she
would
provide
the gun.